Going for joy Rides lol ;)

So about 4 months ago when my depression was getting really bad, I would steal my mums car while she was sleeping and just drive around. I was/am eighteen I dont have a license or anything...the only way I know my way around the road is from driving my sister's car in a couple parking lots from time to time with her permission....I know how selfish that is...I could kill someone or a drunk driver or someone could kill me...But when im in a state like that..I'm pretty oblivious to consequences....It's like welp, if someonething happens "ohh well" cause im hurting so badly...or it could go the other way and be like " oh nothing's gonna happen to me" but that's the thing you never think it's gonna be you....But get this guys! 4 months ago i was really careless and my mum cough me...everytime I would go out i would make a "makeshift" which is like a pretend body underneath the covers with my pillows....I was so used to going out and doing it that i was kinda carless and i gues the pillows didnt really look like i was in them...I asked her "why did you even come in my room!" and she said she came in to talk to me..and she sat on the bed...and it felt like there was no weight in the bed..so she pulled the cover off and of course she was shocked that i wasnt in my bed at 3:00 in the morning....she called the cops....and looked for her keys so she could leave the house to look around the neighborhood...but of course she couldnt find them because i had them! lol...so when she went to the car garage and the car wasn't there!? i dont even want to know her reaction...then she reported the car missing...about 15 minutes later I walk in the door and all the lights are on....BUSTED! i saw she was up and the cver had been pulled away from where i was sleeping...i wanted so badly to just walk back out of the door...didnt want to deal with the consequences....I mean i still feel soooo guilty that she dosent trust me and that she hides her purse from me....So the point is....i started stealing the car again about 5 days ago lmao...i just never learn....when im driving...my mind feels so clear...and I can go where ever....ahhh....i hope i dont get cought agin!