Thursday, April 22, 2010

Home Finally :)

Hey Everyone!

Back from visiting my sister. Had a pretty decent time...and i was so happy to see the puppy for a couple days!he's adorable i love animals, there love is so unconditional. So anyway when my sister picked me up it could have gone one of two ways in the car...super quiet or super was a little bit of both...the car ride is about 45 minutes to her house..where my grandmother lives as well...I love her....she has sucha big heart and accepts everyone... while me and my sister were in the car she asked me how i was, for like the first time in never! and i said "Im great" ughhh!!! why! I should have told her that my bulimia is getting worse that my depression is becoming unbearable! ANYTHING!!!!But when my sister asked she didnt really looked like she know how when people ask how you are just because it's the right thing to do....not because they really care..? that's how it looked...maybe that's why i said "I'm great" cause i got that vibe...maybe I didnt really want to burden her with my problems...I kinda understand that she wouldnt ask me about my ed because she might be a little scared or the topic might be awkward but if i knew someone was struggling...i would ask them almost all the make them aware that someone cares...and to know if there getting better....that makes me tear up just thinking that I was with her for almost 3 days and she didnt ask me how I was going with my ed....DOSENT SHE CARE AT ALL!?whatever... I can't keep thinking and wasting my time with the time went pretty decent i guess...we went ice skating for about 2 hours...didnt fall once and i was doing awesome...I havent been ice skating in like 10 years so i was soo surprised that i could actually next day she went to work and i spent time with my grandmother and the puppy :) then went back home the next yeah pretty good time...But i dont think i can get much closer to my sister knowing that she dosent even care ya know...? that's how she makes me she has other better things to worry about...I swear, this sounds harsh but somtimes i think i love her but i dont like her...i dont like the person that she is or is becoming....sometimes i'll just look at her and not even know who that person is...i guess she's changing. But i needed this..i needed to miss home...and im glad i went....but i probably wont go back in a while...I'll update you guys and tell you if I do and what happens!

Glad to be home<3