Saturday, July 17, 2010
Hey everyone....things have been kinda not good...nothing new...i've been getting more chest pains than usual ...i really have to lay off purging for a while...it's really starting to scare me...to the point where i dont think im going to wake up to see morning. I have all these fears. Like if i dont purge my food im going to have a heart attack and die from eating. Or if i exercise to much where my heart is beating really fast im gonna have a heart attack from all the pressure i've put on my body from the last 2 years. God i hate this...i feel so trapped in my own problems... everyone i know is to busy doing there own thing to be here for me....i keep thinking what did i do to deserve this...? maybe this is the whole cliché thing that is "suppose" to make me stronger...i really hope there's something good for me down the line...i dunno if i can take much more of this.